Bachelor 2012: Week 7

(Author: Matthew)


In a shocker of shockers, the Bachelor began week seven with Ben flying in a puddle-hopper plane instead of a helicopter. From the tiny airplane, Ben hopped in a boat and drove that sucker like he was riding a bike all the way to the Coco Beach Resort in Belize. On the ride over, Ben told us his heart had been "captivated and captured" and he'd tell the girls exactly that when the time was right.


After the girls settled into their suites, Chris Harrison explained there would be three one-on-one dates with no roses and one group date with the week's only rose before the weekly cocktail party. He then delivered the first one-on-one date card, and after it was opened, the group discovered Lindzi would get the week's first one-on-one date. Nicki responded by tearfully saying, "It's really real now. And I'm scared. It's tough. It's really tough to see. It's tough."


After Ben grabbed Lindzi away for their date in front of the rest of the girls at the hotel pool, Emily compared the experience of seeing him walk away with another girl to a waiter giving her a sensational piece of cheesecake, then coming right back and taking her cheesecake away. Definitely a top-notch analogy. 


Ben and Lindzi flew over the ocean to a circular coral reef called, The Blue Hole, where he explained they would leap into from the helicopter. Terrified, Lindzi explained it would be okay to do something this stupid as long as it was for someone she loved. After surviving the jump, Ben told us "there's nothing I couldn't accomplish with Lindzi." As Ben and Lindzi talked about how big of a deal it would be to meet her parents, Courtney the Wicked told the rest of the girls at the hotel how she deserved the next one-on-one date as they all waited for the next date card to arrive. Kacie B responded by telling the camera how much CW sucks. To CW's disappointment, the next one-on-one date went to Emily.


Back at dinner, Lindzi and Ben quickly ran out of things to talk about, so they took turns exclaiming how awesome their "leap of faith" had been. Ben then decided to get epic and write a message in bottle about his and Lindzi's relationship. In the middle of their story writing, Lindzi told us, "Ben's a prince charming, because he IS a prince charming. He's my prince charming." (As soon as she finished this gem of a quote, I wondered if she and Nicki had made a bet to see if either one of them could say the same phrase three times in a row. America was the big winner if this bet was made.) Ben put an exclamation point on the end of the date by saying he had made Lindzi "an eternal promise" to be open and honest forever. Junior high kids can be so silly.


Before Emily left for her one-on-one date with Ben the next day, she made a point to talk about how excited she was in front of Courtney the Wicked. Upon leaving, she was taken to an airplane where she flew by herself to meet Ben on another part of Belize. Cecilia was NOT happy Ben was not in the plane to fly with her. After Emily's plane touched down, she and Ben hopped on bicycles and rode around the town doing touristy things like drinking coconut milk, playing basketball and dancing in the street. Emily loved how spontaneous it all was, including the totally-not-staged lobster-diving excursion later on in the afternoon. (Long story short: they went snorkeling for lobsters to eat for dinner and they each caught one! Hooray!)


Back at the hotel, Courtney the Wicked again talked about how uncomfortable she was with Ben's affections for Emily. She felt betrayed Ben had not taken up for her more when Emily had said such mean things about her. She then threatened to leave if she didn't get the week's final one-on-one date.


At the Lazy Lizard Beach Bar and Grill, Ben told Emily their time together felt "pretty right." Emily then formally invited him to meet her parents (an invitation he literally fished for from all the girls, consequently). He toasted her, called her beautiful and told her again how much he enjoyed spending time with her. The whole time this scene unfolded, I noticed Cecilia eyeballing the huge, untouched lobsters glistening on Ben's and Emily's plates. Somehow, another uneaten-lobster-tail crisis was averted at Creasman Manor. My luck is bound to change if these girls don't start mowing down their lobster tails, though. It's only a matter of time.


When Courtney the Wicked received the week's final one-on-one date, she pulled a 180 and acted like she never doubted it for a minute. Meanwhile, Kacie B told us she'd squash CW with no remorse if she were a spider. Well then.


From the moment CW's Mayan-ruins-exploration date with Ben began, he apologized profusely for not taking her out on a one-on-one date sooner. Again, CW seized the opportunity to make him squirm by questioning their connection and pouting about not getting to spend enough time with him. He encouraged her by saying how impressed he'd been with her all along. Yada, yada, yada. A lot of other junk happened on the date, but it's been the same story (CW fishes for compliments and affirmation, Ben gives them to her) every time they get together, so I'll skip to the best part. 


At dinner, CW threw the rest of the remaining girls under the bus. She played the victim and said they hadn't tried to get to know her even though she'd worked hard to get to know them. This wasn't a huge deal, however, because they were all "boring" and "vanilla" and she wouldn't be friends with them in real life anyway. In fact, she hated that she had to live with them at all. Surprised, Ben asked if she a lot of friends back home. CW responded by saying she had "good friends, a lot of guy friends." With that answer, Ben finally showed some concern. But, then he remembered she was a model and everything was okay in his mind again. CW finished her rant by saying she was used to being "the talent" at work and adapting to everything. She told Ben she was a woman. And the rest of the people in the contest were just girls.


At 4am the next morning, Ben broke into the girls' suite and roused Nicki, Rachel and Kacie B from bed. Clearly perturbed, Nicki and Rachel rushed to the bathroom to shave various body hair to make themselves presentable. After Ben corralled the girls onto a nearby boat he told them they were headed to Shark Alley, the highest concentrated area for sharks in Belize. Nicki and Kacie B shrieked in delight. Rachel turned ghost white. Ben eased her fears by holding her hand the whole time as the four of them snorkeled over a healthy collection of sharks and sting rays. With a straight face, Kacie B later explained she did not think of herself as a jealous person, but she did get jealous of Rachel that day.


When the four returned to the hotel, Ben took turns pressing the girls for personal invitations to their parents' homes. Each obliged. Kacie B invited him the best, because, well, she told him she was falling in love with him. When it was time to hand out the group-date rose, Ben told each girl how much he appreciated her and then awarded the rose to Kacie B. Everyone fell silent. Nicki addressed the awkwardness and then used the opportunity to trash talk Courtney the Wicked. Kacie B agreed with Nicki when she noticed Ben's surprise. Spying on the date from a balcony above, CW recognized that Kacie B had received the rose, but repeated her lack of concern for the third or fourth time because Kacie B was "a little girl in a little boy's body." Huh? 


At the cocktail party, Courtney the Wicked acted cool and over-confident as the rest of the girls dreaded the rose ceremony to come. CW told the group to enjoy their pina coladas and loosen up, because, "Ben isn't the only guy in the world." She added she'd be fine if it was her time to go, because she was kind of ready to leave. Stunned and incredulous, the other five girls looked at each other like CW had just told them all she was hiding a third leg. Chris Harrison appeared and further ruined the already dark mood by explaining Ben had chosen to forgo the cocktail party and march straight to the rose ceremony.


After the girls lined up, Ben asked if he could speak privately to Courtney the Wicked. Noticeable excitement spread through the other five girls as Ben asked CW to reaffirm her feelings for him. When they returned to the group, the rest of the girls could not hide their excitement at the possibility that CW might finally be going home. The excitement would be short-lived. With Kacie B already holding her rose, Ben gave the remaining three roses to Nicki, Lindzi and Courtney the Wicked. As CW pranced back from Ben with rose in hand, she evilly cut her eyes at Emily and took a deep sniff of her hard-earned reward. Rachel and Emily left quickly. Both left dejected, but neither let Ben see completely the level of their devastation. During the scenes-from-next-week montage at the end of the show, Courtney the Wicked's dad delivered this memorable line to Ben, "Marriage is life's greatest gamble." Of course he's wrong, Ben...assuming you end up proposing to Lindzi, Nicki or Kacie B.